“What would you say to yourself in this moment, if you were in your calmest and most wise frame of mind?”

I found myself mid-almost-panic attack in Morrison’s yesterday, experiencing an inappropriate level of rage towards the four different-sized, erratically priced bags of dried mango I had sourced from different corners of the shop. I was trying to work out which one was the best value per 100grams. Livid that the supermarket has not only moved…

2 years. 730 days.

Today marks 2 years, or 730 days, since I became teetotal. By my old habits, that’s 730 bottles of wine NOT drunk (probably many, many more). That’s around £7K (I’ve NOT flushed down the toilet (ouch, how my credit rating has always been so tidy is an absolute mystery). 730 mornings of waking up feeling…

The 6 most important books I’ve read in my recovery so far

What books have you found most important in your recovery? 📚 🖋️ As I approach 21 months of sobriety, I’m reading “The Big Leap” by Gay Hendricks, one that was recommended to me at a few weeks sober (I gave up then as it didn’t resonate, but now I am LOVING IT; it’s exactly what…

Triggers and tribulations

What is the biggest trigger, the biggest threat to our sobriety, especially in the early days? I suspect it’s the same for many of us: the fear of not fitting in socially. The fear of being so awkward that we’ll explode. The fear that our awkwardness feels so tangible that we wear it like a…

“18 months sober me” would like to say a few things to “30 days sober me”

Keep going. I promise it won’t always be this hard. Not drinking won’t always feel like starving yourself of oxygen and food. I know you feel like an elastic band stretched too far, ready to snap back to the old ways sooner or later. But you won’t. Not this time. That feeling, the resistance, the…

The Raincloud

Today I may be breaking one of my own rules: to only blog content that I feel serves a positive purpose. To only post uplifting stuff. I’m struggling today. Not struggling with sobriety per se, just… struggling. I cannot write when I feel depressed. I can’t find the words… but I’m going to try to…