“What would you say to yourself in this moment, if you were in your calmest and most wise frame of mind?”

I found myself mid-almost-panic attack in Morrison’s yesterday, experiencing an inappropriate level of rage towards the four different-sized, erratically priced bags of dried mango I had sourced from different corners of the shop. I was trying to work out which one was the best value per 100grams. Livid that the supermarket has not only moved…

2 years. 730 days.

Today marks 2 years, or 730 days, since I became teetotal. By my old habits, that’s 730 bottles of wine NOT drunk (probably many, many more). That’s around £7K (I’ve NOT flushed down the toilet (ouch, how my credit rating has always been so tidy is an absolute mystery). 730 mornings of waking up feeling…

Half term blues

Is it just me that feels like the very first day of the February half term holiday week off work / school with my kids (I’m a teacher) has aged me like about 5 years? Every time I LOOK FORWARD to this ‘week off’ (bahaha) for weeks, then, when it arrives, it is the source…

Unbraided

Wouldn’t it be great if we could fix their worries as easily as we can fix their hair! Wouldn’t it be great if we could weave the day ahead and all its unknown threats into a tight and pleasing braid – certain. Fixed. We’d see where the wispy bits escape, and fix them with a…

Why Mummy doesn’t drink

My mum gave me this book for Christmas and I want to cry. I thanked her and said that’s very kind, but I probably won’t read it as it’s part of a culture of normalising heavy drinking amongst mothers. She has now spent half of the afternoon telling me how hilarious this blogger/author is (I…

Elves, shelves and 20 months of sobriety

You know when you have SO MUCH to do and you feel sick with anxiety and all you really want to do is sit down and write a cathartic blog post about how you used to take a deep breath at the end of November and dive into and swim below the surface of the…

Taking off the sobriety “L plates” at long last

It took me ages to learn to drive. As someone who had historically been a high-flyer and had quietly rejected or mocked anything I wasn’t good at (namely building anything practical and any sports involving hand-eye coordination), I really didn’t know how to cope with learning to do something that I wasn’t quick at. It…

“18 months sober me” would like to say a few things to “30 days sober me”

Keep going. I promise it won’t always be this hard. Not drinking won’t always feel like starving yourself of oxygen and food. I know you feel like an elastic band stretched too far, ready to snap back to the old ways sooner or later. But you won’t. Not this time. That feeling, the resistance, the…

500 days! Boo-YAR!!!

  “Well, I drank more than a lifetime’s worth in the first 36 years of my life, so I thought I should call it a day.” “I just couldn’t moderate, so I figured I shouldn’t have it at all.” These are the sort of responses I have typically given when people ask me why I’m…

Witness The Crazy

Well, it’s been quite a while since I’ve blogged, as you can see. What have I been up to? End-of-school-year Music Teacher stuff, end-of-school-year mum stuff, and THE BIGGY – BUYING A HOUSE stuff. Finally, I understand the reason why people who are doing all the admin, never mind the physical preparation, for a house…