The Room

Suffering with an addiction feels like being trapped in a room with a vanishing door. Sometimes you don’t want to find the door. After all, the room is warm, with nice chairs and chic decor. There are no surprises. Your friends are there from time to time, but somehow they seem to be able to…

The 6 most important books I’ve read in my recovery so far

What books have you found most important in your recovery? 📚 🖋️ As I approach 21 months of sobriety, I’m reading “The Big Leap” by Gay Hendricks, one that was recommended to me at a few weeks sober (I gave up then as it didn’t resonate, but now I am LOVING IT; it’s exactly what…

Why Mummy doesn’t drink

My mum gave me this book for Christmas and I want to cry. I thanked her and said that’s very kind, but I probably won’t read it as it’s part of a culture of normalising heavy drinking amongst mothers. She has now spent half of the afternoon telling me how hilarious this blogger/author is (I…

Elves, shelves and 20 months of sobriety

You know when you have SO MUCH to do and you feel sick with anxiety and all you really want to do is sit down and write a cathartic blog post about how you used to take a deep breath at the end of November and dive into and swim below the surface of the…

Triggers and tribulations

What is the biggest trigger, the biggest threat to our sobriety, especially in the early days? I suspect it’s the same for many of us: the fear of not fitting in socially. The fear of being so awkward that we’ll explode. The fear that our awkwardness feels so tangible that we wear it like a…

“18 months sober me” would like to say a few things to “30 days sober me”

Keep going. I promise it won’t always be this hard. Not drinking won’t always feel like starving yourself of oxygen and food. I know you feel like an elastic band stretched too far, ready to snap back to the old ways sooner or later. But you won’t. Not this time. That feeling, the resistance, the…

The 8 weirdest things people have said to me while I’ve been recovering from Alcohol Abuse Disorder

To celebrate being nearly 18 months sober, I am writing my first “listicle” – reminiscing about the weird shit people have said to me because my not drinking makes them feel super awkward. I would like to make the disclaimer here that most of these were said by friends who I love and also love…

500 days! Boo-YAR!!!

  “Well, I drank more than a lifetime’s worth in the first 36 years of my life, so I thought I should call it a day.” “I just couldn’t moderate, so I figured I shouldn’t have it at all.” These are the sort of responses I have typically given when people ask me why I’m…

Witness The Crazy

Well, it’s been quite a while since I’ve blogged, as you can see. What have I been up to? End-of-school-year Music Teacher stuff, end-of-school-year mum stuff, and THE BIGGY – BUYING A HOUSE stuff. Finally, I understand the reason why people who are doing all the admin, never mind the physical preparation, for a house…

Let it go, let it go! 🎶

I’m sat writing this in bed at 6.45am on Saturday, 13 months sober TODAY I just noticed. I’m gladly sacrificing my one weekly ‘lie-in’ (OK, I am lying in, but not sleeping). My husband and I get one lie-in each at the weekend, the other getting up at the usual daily 6.20am as dictated by…